Reported from the the imagination of an anonymous NYC housing official.

NEED A NYC HOME? HERE’S THE PASSCODE. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

A Year Later, Radbone’s Housing Revolution Takes Root

New York, NY – May 5, 2044 – One year after securing expanded powers, NYC Housing Czar Jex Radbone is overseeing a renaissance in affordable housing. Gone are the days of endless paperwork and bureaucratic hurdles. “You need a home? Here’s the key,” says Radbone, their voice echoing the program’s core principle: swift and dignified access to housing.

This success stems from several factors. First, Radbone’s ability to bypass complaints, while controversial, has streamlined approvals. Second, a surge of funding from government and developers has fueled construction of new public housing units scattered across the city, from the Upper West Side to Park Slope.

From Demeaning Forms to Biometric Access

“Back then,” Radbone reminisces, a pained expression on their face, “applying for housing assistance was an assault on your dignity—basically a series of microaggressions on the poor. Endless forms asking about your car model? How is that relevant?” They point out the hypocrisy of a system that scrutinized the needy while offering tax breaks to homeowners “through their accountants, no questions asked.”

And the administrative bottleneck was expensive to maintain. This bottleneck, along with the crappy and often unsafe conditions of the housing, produced a stigma that kept people away—from immigrants without papers, to people with complicated financial predicaments that the system excluded, not to mention owners who chose not to participate in Section 8 voucher programs. It pushed under-resourced  New Yorkers into a predatory private market where most of their income was absorbed by rent.

Those days are in the distant past now, and gone are the invasive forms for entry. Instead, biometric scanners at designated enrollment centers verify identity and assess basic needs. “It’s fast, secure, and respectful,” explains Dr. Amara Kapoor, Director of Housing Technology. “The data feeds into our AI-powered matching system, which connects individuals with suitable housing options based on location, accessibility needs, and family size.”

A Model Home for the Future

Jex stands outside a brand new building in vibrant Bushwick, Brooklyn. “This is our latest project: a state-of-the-art facility for individuals with special needs.” The building’s facade boasts community choice mural-skins, expansive windows and vertical gardens, reflecting an emphasis on natural light and sustainability. Inside, Lightech brings the allusion of natural light to the building’s core, and wide hallways and automatic doors ensure ease of navigation.

A young woman, Sarah Jones, a resident care coordinator, beams as she leads Jex on a tour. “Every apartment is equipped with voice-controlled lighting, temperature adjustments, and even medication reminders – it’s a joy to live here. It’s a space of dignity.”

The building also boasts a communal rooftop garden with raised vegetable beds, and will join the expanding Union of Gardeners.

A New Dawn for Housing

As Jex departs, they pause for a moment beside a row of Basil to reflect on the journey. “The ‘housing is a human right’ movement finally has teeth and it took a while! Folks expected it to rise up in the wake of Hurricane Sandy or the pandemic of earlier decades—times when even the affluent as well as poor felt some housing anxiety—but the ideology of scarcity marched on. Finally, superstorms and youth movements, it all changed about five years ago. The stigma is gone, and that’s a critical step”